How do you understand your baby’s cries and noises?
When you become a parent, part of the gig is understanding that there will be crying and lots of it. So what to do with the crying? Well, that is a whole other story.
My degree is in Communication with an emphasis in Nonverbal Communication - helping me tune into other people not by what they “say” in my language, but what they “say” through their language. In this specific case, I observe babies - I look at their body, their facial expressions, and listen - because this is how I can come up with a plan of action going forward.
It is scientifically proven (I love science!), that there is a universal “baby language”. There are specific noises and cries that your baby makes and it gives you clues into what they need. WOW. Life changing. Why don’t they teach this stuff in the infant education classes!?
Today I’m going to give you the tools that I have learned to really tune into your child, slow down and figure out what your baby is saying to YOU. We’ll give the reason for the cry and then what you might hear or see in the process. Listen and Watch.
Tired or Overstimulated
Listen.
Starts as cranky, irregular-frequency fussing, but if not stopped quickly, it escalates to an overtired cry. First, three short wails followed by a hard cry, then two short breaths and a longer, even louder cry. Usually they cry and cry - and if left alone, will eventually fall asleep.
Watch.
Blinks, yawns. If not put to bed, physical signs can include back arching, legs kicking, and arms flailing. May grab own ears or cheeks and scratch (a reflex). If you’re holding him, squirms and tries to turn into your body. If he continues to cry, his face will become bright red.
Notes: Of all the cries, this is the most often misinterpreted for hunger. Therefore, pay close attention to when it occurs. It may come after playtime, or after someone has been cooing at the baby. Squirming is often mistaken for colic.
Overstimulated
Listen.
Long, hard cry, similar to overtired.
Watch.
Arms and legs flail, turns head away from light, will turn away from anyone trying to play with them.
Notes: Usually comes when baby has had enough playing and adult keeps trying to amuse them.
Needs a change of scenery
Listen.
Cranky fussing that starts with noises of annoyance rather than outright cries.
Watch.
Turns away from object placed by them, plays with fingers.
Notes: If it gets worse when you change the baby’s position, then she might be tired and needs a nap.
Pain / Gas
Listen.
Unmistakable shrill, high-pitched scream that comes without warning, may hold breath between wails and then start again.
Watch.
Whole body tenses and becomes rigid, which perpetuates the cycle, because then gas can’t pass. Pulls knees upwards to chest, face is scrunched in pain, tongue wiggles upward, like a lizard.
Notes: All newborns swallow air, which can cause gas. Throughout the day you’ll hear a tiny squeaky, wincing sound in the back of the throat - that’s air swallowing. Gas can also be caused by irregular feeding patterns.
Hunger
Listen.
Slight cough-like sound in the back of the throat, then out comes the first cry. It’s short to begin with then more steady. Waa, waa, waa rhythm.
Watch.
Baby starts to subtly lick their lips and then “root” - tongue starts coming out and turns head side to side, pulls fist towards mouth.
Notes: The best way to discern hunger is to look at when the baby last ate. If she’s on a BEST routine, it removes some of the guesswork.
Too cold
Listen.
Full-out crying with bottom lip quivering.
Watch.
Tiny goosebumps on skin, may shiver, cold extremeties (hands, feet, nose), skin can sometimes have bluish tinge.
Notes: Can happy with a newborn after a bath or when you’re changing their diaper.
Too hot
Listen.
Fussy whine that sound more like panting, low at first, about five minutes, if left alone, will launch into a cry.
Watch.
Feels hot and sweaty, flushed, pants instead of breathing regularly, may see red blotchiness on baby’s face and upper torso.
Notes: Different from fever in that cry is similar to a pain cry, skin is dry, not clammy. Take your baby’s temperature to be sure.
“Where did you go?” / “I need a cuddle”
Listen.
Cooing sounds suddenly turn into short “waas” that sound like a kitten. Crying disappears the minute baby is picked up.
Watch.
Looks around, trying to find you.
Notes: If you catch this straight away, you may not need to pick baby up. A pat on the back and soft words of reassurance work better because they foster independence.
Overfeeding
Listen.
Fussing, even crying, after a meal.
Watch.
Spits up frequently.
Notes: This often occurs when sleepiness and overstimulation are mistaken for hunger.
Bowel Movement
Listen.
Grunts or cries while feeding.
Watch.
Squirms and bears down, stops nursing or feeding, has a bowel movement.
Notes: May be mistaken for hunger, mom often things she is “doing something wrong”
“Reading” your baby requires all of YOUR sensory organs. Your ears, eyes, fingers, your nose - as well as your mind, which helps you put it all together.
If you or your partner are having trouble putting together the pieces of understanding your baby, shoot me a message and I can hold your hand through figuring it all out.
You’ve got this mama
We were never meant to do this alone. As a Certified Postpartum Doula and Sleep Specialist if you need support, I’m here to help.